2 thumbs & a dummy

When we found out we were pregnant with Arianna, I went all out and read books and articles on various options on births. From homebirths [assisted and unassisted[, water births to natural births [with and without drugs], having doulas and midwives to assists, and of course, caesarean as well. Everything was considered and we talked about it.

From the beginning, I had always wanted to have an assisted home-water birth. I had envisioned myself sitting in my hall in a big tub of warm water with Ted’s and the midwife’s support, to bring our baby into the world. All this thanks to the positive articles, stories and YouTube videos. You can get ANY sort of video you want in there, all you need to do is search for it. I had come to the conclusion that a water birth would be the least stressful and labour management would be easier and better too. After all, warm water does help loosen everything down there and soften the skin as well hence, I wouldn’t have to worry about tearing too badly. Also, it also made me think about Arianna and not wanting her to open her eyes to a bunch of strangers man-handling her the moment she comes into the world. It would be best if her transition from womb to real world be gradual ie. from the womb to warm water, to Mummy.

But all this was not to be because Ted was not in favour. Although I was slightly disappointed that he didn’t support me in this, I was damn bloody glad!! I keep thinking about how if we really did go through with my initial birth plan, I may not be here today blogging about this. You can read about Arianna’s birth here, just to give you an idea of what happened that day.

In short, if I had had my home birth, it would have gone very bad and in the end, I would have ended up in the hospital and things would have been worst. I was very glad that we decided to have Arianna at the hospital and no number of positive home birth stories will ever make me want to have a home birth. The success rates may be good but not all of us know what will happen along the way. We can’t foresee what will happen. We always hear about the positive and successful birth stories but what about those that went wrong. People don’t talk much about it, do they? If even I do decide to have a home birth, it will not be unassisted – why be a hero and try to deliver your own baby?? Asking for trouble is what I think when mums decide to deliver their own. Perhaps they feel that it some sort of achievement but heck, if what happened to me, happened to them. It would only mean that they learnt their lesson the hard way. Lives could be lost…..no joke!

I’m not saying that people should not have home births or that home births are bad but in my personal opinion, they are not a good idea based on personal experience. After all, I had an almost perfect textbook pregnancy and I was fine throughout the pregnancy – no high blood or GD and yet, mine was a traumatic birth. No amount of books or reference could have prepared us for what happened. Until today, I don’t know what would have happened if I had insisted on a home birth.

I think this pretty much sums up what I think is best :

I would like to point out one natural aspect of a home birth that your writer missed: death. As an emergency nurse working in a city, I see countless women who arrive at the hospital–and die–after a home birth gone wrong. I fully support having a midwife-assisted birth, but it should be done in a birthing center within a hospital setting equipped to deal with emergencies. Elspeth McTavish, TORONTO

So if you happen to read this and think that I’m talking rot or what I think is stupid, so be it. Everyone has their opinion and that’s fine but just bear in mind that it’s not all about you – baby’s safe delivery and you surviving the ordeal are the most important. And if you must have a home birth, please ensure that it is an assisted one or at least have the midwife/doula on standby in the next room. Better to be safe than sorry….

If you’re wondering why this sudden rant about home births…well, yours trully got carried away checking out home birth videos on YouTube and then it occurs to me how most of the births were successful ones, what happened to those that went wrong? Hence this piece…I got another post coming up about newborn handling too. Very scary but doubt I can find that video again though….