Category Archives: Thoughts

Gender definition by color

Posted by Misty Mom on 29/10/2007 9 comments

Poor Ella….every time we go out, people always think that she’s a boy. All because on those occasions, I dress her up in something with blue color in it. Today was one such occasion. Someone gave us a Cookie Monster bodysuit and she looks simply adorable in it and I love to see her in it. The thing is, it’s mostly blue because Cookie Monster is blue. And just because she was in it, a neighbour from the unit next door thought she was a boy when we bumped into them on the way to the bank.

 

But that wasn’t the only occasion. I can think of at least 2 more recent occasions where people thought she was a boy. One was when she had on a blue knitted jumper my MIL had knitted for her and the other was when an Avon rep came over [because I signed up] and I had Ella in a blue bodysuit, and she was just lying on the rocker. The most bizarre comment we got with regards to her being a boy was about 2 weeks ago when we were out for breakfast and when we took her out of the pram, the ladies in the next table obviously oooh-ed and aaah-ed at her and then asked if she was a boy. That was when she had the blue jumper on BUT that wasn’t the giveaway. Turns out just because of her full head of hair, they thought she was a boy!! How peculiar….it got me wondering if baby girls here were meant to be bald. But then Ted showed them that she had pink socks on.

I really don’t get it. Why do people ALWAYS assume that if a baby wears a certain color ie. blue = boy and pink = girl, then THAT is their gender?? Does it mean that in order for people not to assume we have to dress our babies in white and all the odd colors is it? I personally don’t assume that if a baby is wearing blue, that it’s a boy because obviously, girls are allowed to wear blue too, you know? After all, baby girls can wear blue but it would be really weird if a baby boy were to wear pink. Funny eh? I know I wouldn’t dress my baby in pink if it was a boy – would look way gay! lol If it sounds bias, I’m just being honest.

View of the world through new eyes

Posted by Misty Mom on 30/09/2007 4 comments

The world is a scary place because it’s filled with many, many bad people. Over the past month, many incidences have been happening and most of the time, children are the victims. When I read such cases in the paper, I often how the parents feel like because as an outsider, I myself feel the pain from just reading the stories. I cannot imagine how they must be feeling. And now that I have my own baby, I’m scared of letting her out of the house!!

Stories about little girls being brutally raped and then murdered, newborns thrown into rubbish dumps and left for dead, children being abused cruelly that their little bodies just give up and more recently in Melbourne, a 3 year old girl was abandoned at a train station by her father who then fleds to US after alleged murdering and dumping the mother in a car right in front of the house!! I can’t help but wonder what the world is coming to.

How one human being can lift a hand to hurt another, what more a child to such a degree is beyond me. What goes on in their minds when they are in the midst of hurting these kids? Don’t they have feelings? How is it possible to just block out the cries of mercy and pain? I personally cannot handle someone elses pain. I can’t bear to watch anyone in pain, and to read news that kids have been hurt, raped and murdered….it really brought tears to my eyes.

I remember watching an episode of Law & Order : SVU where a body of a newborn was found in the dumpster. I wouldn’t have felt that bad if it was a stilborn BUT the baby was stil alive when it was thrown away. At the time, I was feeding Ella and I just froze up. I instinctively clutched her tightly to me and felt a shiver down my spine. After all, Ella was just that age a couple of weeks ago.

*sigh* The more I think about it, the more upsetting it gets. It’s sad to think that Ella’s been born into such a horrible world. :(

The never ending emotion cycle

Posted by Misty Mom on 27/07/2007 2 comments

Lying lazily in bed this morning, I was just thinking about how I hate getting up to pee in the middle of the night and what a hassle it was coz it disrupts my sleep. And I find that it takes me at least an hour before I can actually hit the big Z. Although Ted says that I’m out like a light at night when we go to bed, which is true, it’s helluva tough for me if my sleep has been broken. I think it’s because my mind is alert once I’ve been up and about a bit and THAT is when all sorts of thoughts and images from the previous night come crowding in my mind.

I find that I have to literally tell myself to block them out.  I actually say to myself, ‘You have a blank mind. You are thinking of nothing. Your mind is blank.’ And only, then do I actually fall asleep. I kid you not! Anyway, it occurred to me that at this point in time,  I feel like  I’m on this never ending cycle of emotion.

  1. The exhilaration to find out we were pregnant.
  2. Enjoying the joys of pregnancy
  3. The great anticipation as time draws near
  4. Wondering what the heck I got myself into when I can’t reach my toes, put on my shoes coz I can’t reach my feet, the constant pee-ing sessions and the occasional aches and pains which are becoming more constant by the day
  5. The final league and the feeling of finally being ‘complete’ when I have Kecik in my arms in the near future.

The cycle I mention here would most likely be the repetition of the lot and reminiscing about it. I bet the cycle hardly ever changes as time goes by. Maybe the feeling and the level or degree of feelings will change but the basic will never. When your child smiles at you, all the bad feelings go away and you’re taken back to the time when you first found out you were pregnant, skips the awful bits in between and ends with bub in your arms for the first time.

But when they turn into little devils, you are taken straight to the bit where you wonder what the hell you were thinking to be having this demon child!! Although I haven’t reached this stage yet…..I feel that its bound to happen. That said, I think more often than not, parents don’t really regret having their babies. After all they are God’s gift, right?

Unless, they really are demon children!!! Then you’re better off without them….and at times like these, wouldn’t it be great to have a department store where you can return and exchange them for another? Hehehehe…..just a thought when I think of this ad that’s been showing on telly here. Couple has a nice child which turns out to be a monster by day 3 so they rush to the store to return him and get a more quiet looking and manageable child. I thought it was hilarious, however, I don’t know what the kids who watch it feel……food for thought, eh?

Women – An Inspiration

Posted by Misty Mom on 05/07/2007 None comments

“By the time the Lord made woman, He was into His sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, “Why are you spending so much time on this one?”

And the Lord answered, “Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart- and she will do everything with only two hands.”

The angel was astounded at the requirements. “Only two hands!? No way! And that’s just on the standard model? That’s too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish.”

“But I won’t,” the Lord protested. “I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days.”

The angel moved closer and touched the woman. “But you have made her too soft, Lord.”

“She is soft,” the Lord agreed, “but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.”

“Will she be able to think?” asked the angel.

The Lord replied, “Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate.”

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman’s cheek. “Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.”

“That’s not a leak,” the Lord corrected, “that’s a tear!”

“What’s the tear for?” the angel asked.

The Lord said, “The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride.”

The angel was impressed. “You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing.”

And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don’t take “no” for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They’ll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends.

Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY OFTEN FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Wow!! A powerful piece there….I’m glad I’m a woman. ;) But seriously, when I read this piece the first person that came to mind was my mummy, of course. And then, all the other Mummy friends I have. So this is dedicated to you too.

Feeling the blues

Posted by Misty Mom on 27/06/2007 6 comments

I don’t normally feel this way. In fact, I think throughout the whole pregnancy, this is the first time I feel that I can’t control my feelings and I know that it normal because of the hormones. But what if it isn’t?

I’ve never flung a pan at Ted yet, and neither have I screamed at him for no reason. In fact, sometimes I think he even forgets that I’m pregnant seeing that I don’t really look it. Mum says I’m undernourished so I’ve been given the green light to pig out. I don’t think so. ;) In any case, I’m no happy camper today.

My 0 tolerance level

Posted by Misty Mom on 26/06/2007 3 comments

Everyone’s got a tolerance level for when it comes to kids and their behaviour. Me? I have a zero tolerance level for kids who are whiny for the wrong reasons, plain stubborn and above all, rudeness.

I’m not sure whether it was because I was brought up in a rather well disciplined environment or maybe I was just a good kid all in all but my Mum has never stopped talking about how as kids, we never gave her or my Dad any problems. And when I mean talking about us, it’s to other people and not telling us [me and Sis] directly. And honestly, I actually remember what she means.

Here are a couple of examples of the good things that we did as kids :

  1. I was always well behaved in church. And I remember it too. I was never one to run in church, or cry or make a single peep. Mum told me that they didn’t even have to tell me to keep quiet. It just came naturally.

  2. I was never one to demand anything at a supermarket. Firstly, we were not a rich family, just average and everything we had or did was simple. Simplicity in its essence. Perhaps I did whinge every now and then, and although I never really got my way most of those times, you would never find me rolling all over the floor, bawling my eyes out and screaming at the top of my lungs for a Barbie. Heck, I’ve never even OWNED a Barbie for that matter. I actually disliked dolls. I was more of a Teddy bear and vehicle lover. Don’t ask why.

  3. I was never taught to like sugary drinks. This simple meaning that Coke and Sprite and Pepsi were non-existent in my household. Even junk food was a no-no hence, all the junk food I ever consumed was behind my Dad’s back while I was at school. The only ‘junk’ food I ever remember eating was sugared nutmeg which is a speciality from Penang. Mum used to give me some every day after my bath. Must have been some incentive program to get me to bath without a fuss! *lol* But it sure worked. Even till today, I hardly drink these fizzy drinks although Ted is more than willing to gulp down glass after glass of Pepsi and Coke. And I am not amused by it at all.  A bottle of fizzy bought last Mother’s Day was still in the fridge when Christmas arrived…..that’s how much we take our fizzy drinks seriously.

  4. I was taught to respect my elders no matter who they were and manners was utmost important. My parents were VERY strict about our ‘thank yous’ and greeting people who were much older than we were. I personally think it’s an Asian culture which I totally approve of and intend to instill in my kids. We were taught to greet elder folks by their name with an additional ‘aunty’ or ‘uncle’ in front of their name. Or just plain ‘aunty/uncle’ depending on the gender if we didn’t know who they were. I know that in the Western culture, the term aunty/uncle is reserved for blood relatives but it is not so in the Asian culture. EVERYONE is aunty/uncle which really confused Ted tremendously in the beginning coz he was under the impression that my family was humongous! Well, my family is big but not neighbourhood big though. Heh.

These are merely the 4 things that I can pick from the top of my head which is the main reason why I cannot tolerate kids who are rude, misbehaved and totally out of  control. I personally think that kids turn out the way they are because of their parents.

My friends nephew has got a bad habit of hitting people and when Grandma comes to correct him and tell him it’s wrong to do so, Mama comes along and scolds Grandma saying, ‘He’s my son so let him be.’ And hence, the kid becomes more and more like the devil incarnate and now, all his cousins have since ‘abandoned’ him because he’s so rough. When I think about it, I pity the kid because he’s the one losing out – he will have a tough time in school making friends because he wants things done his way and punches anyone who doesn’t play by the rules. Heck, he might even turn out to be a hooligan! But I pray not….

I really hope the Kecik turns out to be a good kid. Ted and I were good kids so I think we deserve a good kid too. *grin* Otherwise, Ted and I are going to have a tough time deciding what method is best used to discipline our kids coz I’m always for corporal punishment coz sometimes, words just don’t mean a thing and actions speak louder than words.

Daddy’s first post

Posted by Ted on 17/05/2007 1 comments

They say life is what happens when you are busy making other plans. I always planned all sorts of stuff for my kids, like having them growing up speaking latin. I don’t tihnk that will happen, because I never got round to learning it myself that well. I was too busy.

Nowdays i am busy werking 3 jobs: I am on the PC at work typing this right now. I think I’ve mentioned this before in my blog, but it bears repeating here: I used to hear about people working 3 jobs to support their family and think, “yuck! Not me! What a horrible life!” But now I do it, well, meh: its a living ;-) Its work I enjoy, I guess, and its not hard (I am working with adults with disabilities nowdays, for those who don’t know). And like any parent (or prospective parent) I want to create a life for my kids so they won’t have to work that hard.

Of course financial independance doesn’t come from a job: unless you can be the CEO of a bank (or a sports star) you are probably never going to earn a paycheck that will make you rich. Ideally you want folks working for you, not visa versa. but thats a blog for another day.

I’ve been getting the house ready for when Yvy returns with the cot. Thats another thing I’d always planned – to have a kiddy-proof house, all designed so a toddler could crawl around and never be in any danger of bumping themselves on sharp corners etc. Thats another thing thats not going to happen: we will just have to make do with arranging what we have, there is no possibility of custom-designing ahead of time now. But I tihnk a lot of safety stuff is common sense, and I have been woprrying about such things with kids for many long years at work. Some of the kids I used to work with got around by scooting on their bums or just crawling, so its not new territory. Its something to think about, though, if and when we buy our own place, hopefully in about 6 months.

I have to admit, the last few days I have been really excited. I can’t wait to meet kecik! I just know she’s going to be adorable. I want my birds to meet her too ;-) Hopefully I will have lots of time to just play with her: maybe its just withdrawal symptoms from not having my kids at work to play with any more. Probably a good thing ;-)

Of course, the responsibility of it all is starting to hit too. I was thinking it would be nice to go to the footy with Yvy when she gets back, or have a few days away, but all that changes. It doesn’t end, but we have a whole new little person in the equation: a lot of the freedoms are going to disappear, I guess. Sometimes I find myself idlely daydreaming of just flying off to Canada, or Ireland, or one of the other places I would love to visit, and now I have to remind myself that it would be done with kecik in tow – no pub-crawls around Dublin unless we can afford to hire a nanny ;-)

O well: I had 35 years to fulfill these dreams, half my life, and instead I just daydreamed. While I made my plans that largely were never achieved, life moved on.

Luckily I am looking forward to letting kecik in on those daydreams :-)

Familiy matters….

Posted by Misty Mom on 26/04/2007 4 comments

While many of you are off having a siesta what with today being our 13th Agung’s installation, I’m at the office ‘working’. It’s been a rather quiet day [Duh!!!] and I’m hardly getting any calls coming in and the roads in town is pretty deserted. With that much time in my hands, I had a fair bit of  time to blog-hop to many new sites and even managed to add a few nice ones to this blog.

One particular blog really caught my attention – it’s called Joyful Chaos. Basically it’s a blog written by a Catholic mother of 8-going on-9 kids. At first I thought that it was insane to have that many kids in this age and time but the more I read her blog, I realise that it’s always so filled with joy and happiness and not to mention abundance of love!! It’s such a wonderful feeling looking at the pictures she has taken of her kids playing and helping out around the house that whatever hardships [which I'm sure there are] that her family might face with such a large family, they seem relatively happy.

When Ted and I started talking about having a family, he always and still mentions that he wants a big family – ‘I want my own football team’. Yea, right! As for me, I’d be happy with a pair [a boy and a girl] but wouldn’t mind if #3 comes along. That would be an added bonus. But after reading this blog, it got me thinking….both Ted and I have a family of four ie. mum, dad, brother/sister and us. Sis and I had only each other to rely on to amuse ourselves while we were growing up and most of the time, it was me doing bullying. Not too sure how it was with Ted but I think he got the shorter end of the stick too being the younger sibling. But in the case of an uncle of mine, he has 5 kids and it must have been quite a handful but the difference is, their family gatherings are always the best ever! For me, it’s just sis and me but when we have our big family reunions, my mum’s siblings all get together and there are like 7 of them here in Peninsula Malaysia and lemme tell you, it’s like such a happening party!! Each family has on the average of 3 kids and at this age, most of them already have kids of their own so you can just do some simple maths and realise that your extended family is so huge, it’s like a freaking circus and it’s just SO fun.

Reading Lisbet’s blog made me think that perhaps it isn’t such a bad idea to have a slightly larger than average family because I value family ties and reunions a lot, and I especially enjoy the get-togethers. I’m so used to having such a huge extended family that I feel by having a small family myself, I’d be depriving myself and my kids of that chance to enjoy the joys of having superb family get-together and the feeling of being apart of something big. The true meaning of ‘family’, so to speak – at least they would have more than one sibling to bully! However, I do realise that it’s not all fun and play for with big families, you will be bogged down with heavier responsibilies ie financially and education wise especially toward your kids future. One has to also be mentally prepared and emotionally stable too coz a bunch of screaming kids could really drive any sane person insane! Thank God Ted’s got the patience of a fisherman[?]! But I believe that kids are God’s gift and if He wants us to have more kids, then He will also provide us accordingly. Some of you may think it as BS but I have never doubted the good Lord for He has yet to fail me and I doubt He ever will.

One thing’s for sure, if Ted reads this post, I’m very sure that he’ll be beaming from ear to ear and most likely go over to Lisbet’s blog and thank her for this eye-opener! Hats off to Lisbet for she is indeed one VERY successful mom….and I think I just found a new role model. :)

 

Gender predictor?

Posted by Misty Mom on 14/04/2007 2 comments

Ok, I’m getting really excited and can’t wait to find out what gender Kecik is! I’m admitting it….

2 nights ago, Mum’s friend popped by to visit and was telling me about some online gender predictor and she said that it was quite reliable because after having 2 sons, she still tried it out and they came out right! I didn’t waste much time and quickly Googled it up and found MANY sites which have a gender predictor but I just picked 2 and tried.

Surprisingly, both said that we are having a boy and I’m getting the feel that Kecik’s a little baby boy too. I remembered how Ted was subconsciously referring to Kecik as a ‘he’ before I left. I was telling Mum how perhaps it started out as a girl and wanted to be one but since everyone is saying and assuming that Kecik’s a boy must have made ‘her’ evolved to become a boy instead!  ;)

In case, if you’re interested to know more or to check your baby’s gender but haven’t have a scan or for that matter – just interested to know in case you’re planning for #2 and want a boy [Hints at Aida],  why not just try out these 2 sites, Motherhood and Predict Baby fast.

Have fun!

Chivalry has not died

Posted by Misty Mom on 21/02/2007 4 comments

chivalry
noun
1.  courtesy towards women 
2.  the medieval principles governing knighthood and knightly conduct 

I was very pleasantly surprised yesterday after work. I take a 45 minutes bus ride from the college bus stop to the main station at Parramatta so when I got on to a rather crowded bus, I was not pleased but it was instantly ‘cured’ when a young boy of perhaps  12 years old stood up and offered me his seat. I don’t think I’m showing that much but I was very appreciative of his gesture. Although I declined his offer, he insisted saying that he was getting off at the next stop but I noted that he stood for the next 3 to 4 stops before hopping off.

It reminded me of this advertisement which was showing on telly about courtesy. It begins in a crowded bus and this heavily pregnant woman was standing with her arms full of things, right in front of this young man with his iPod on. Her tummy was literally right in his face but he didn’t budge. So she did the next best thing, she started thumping him with a sponge pole [obviously bought for the baby] till he fell off his chair and then she sat down. Goes to show how extreme one has to get to get a seat on the bus – especially when you have every right to be seated! But it was a banking advert and it was just saying that they had all the courteous people working for them. *rolls eyes*

In any case, I was very touched and am glad that his mama taught him right or least the school are doing something that seems to work too. Either way, I’m glad to see that chivalry hasn’t died. *grin*