And a very sad one at that too! :(
About 4 days ago, while watching Harry Potter, Ted laughed out loud and it sort of took KR by surprise and she wasn’t impressed by it and began to cry. So after calming down, she was very fussy and didn’t want to nurse. I just assume it was because she was upset, had teeth coming in and also coz I did have some wine that night. However, since that day, she has refused to nurse any more. Hence, I have been expressing milk as often and as much as I can as I did not see this coming. On top of that, my backup frozen milk also finished faster than I could stock up coz of this unexpected turn of events.
Needless to say, that as much as I have been pumping, my supply has dwindled so low that it’s not funny anymore. In fact, it’s quite sad and pathetic. I had aimed to continue bf-ing her until 2 yrs old but now, she’s only 9 months come 28/1/10 and she’s already weaned herself off me. :( I am very sad and upset about this. I feel that I have shortchaged her, health wise and that this will cause her to lose out on the goodness of booby juice. Also, I just absolutely hate to pump. I think it takes such a lot of effort when I could just easily pop one out. *sigh*
Hence, she’s current on 1/2 bm and 1/2 formula to begin with but last night I tried her on all formula and she was ok with it. So although I am still expressing I don’t know how long the supply will be in for. As it is, it takes ages to get 100ml from both boobs sometimes. I have to literally squeeze the living daylights out of them. *Ouchies indeed!* Seeing that I am also now back at work for awhile, it has become a little handy with formula. While someone I know is trying to stop breastfeeding as she feels that she’s done her part and that it is difficult looking after her bub full time coz she is sleep deprived from late night expressing, I am one who is trying so hard to get back on the horse!
I wish we could exchange boobs! Her supply is just overflowing…. *sigh* She doesn’t know how blessed she is!!! I wish I could tell her that when you have a baby, it’s no longer all about ‘I’….’I’ doesn’t exist anymore once you’ve had a baby. It’s no longer about you, my dear. But because I do not want to hurt your feelings and tell you that perhaps you were not ready to have this child yet, I am keeping my mouth shut. I pity your baby….I really do. Anyways, I think I might look into getting some sort of nursing tea to help with the supply like this and this. I’m waiting to hear back from the girls in my sewing forum and see what feedback I can get.
Someone also mentioned to me that I should eat more during meals which it actually suddenly occurred to me that I hadn’t really been eating much lately. Just not really that hungry and well, kind of lost my appetite. Even Ted has noticed that I am not as crazy over food as I used to be. And no, I am not taking those products my friends keep insisting is the best weight loss products around. I am not trying to lose weight at all. If at all, I am just maintaining my current weight. I can’t afford to lose too much weight as I’m sure it will effect KR in more ways than 1.
ALSO…..did you know that KR’s formula milk is more expensive than Arianna’s??? It’s insane, I tells ya!! Anyhoo, off to wallow in sadness over this lost of a most intimate and precious bond…..